If every PC is going to be an AI PC, they better be as good at all the things trad PCs can do
Comment Microsoft's Copilot+ machines suck at one of computing's oldest use cases
Channel05 Sep 2024 | 92
Richard joined The Register as a copy editor after working for several years as a production journalist in the UK's newspaper industry. He also contributes technology news and comment pieces. He says he likes beer, heavy metal, and video games a little bit too much, and that you can sometimes find him streaming on Twitch here. Any typos you find may be his fault.
Say 'ahhhh' – AI robots are now gunning for your gums
Perceptive turns its automated dental dynamo on humans, and Zuck's dad thinks it's great
Bootnotes02 Aug 2024 | 25
Tesla parental controls keep teenage lead feet in check
Because trusting your kid with 300 horsepower should come with a curfew
Personal Tech09 Jul 2024 | 83
Nintendo sues alleged Switch pirate pair for serious coin
And if court finds for gaming giant? It's-a me! Bankruptcy!
Legal02 Jul 2024 | 20
Glastonbury to turn festivalgoer pee into eco-friendly fertilizer
Now that's what you call a golden harvest
Bootnotes26 Jun 2024 | 39
Footage of Nigel Farage blowing up Rishi Sunak's Minecraft mansion 'not real'
Hats off to The Guardian for double checking, though
Bootnotes19 Jun 2024 | 87
Wrongful termination lawsuit accuses Neuralink of Herpes B-infected monkey business
Forced to work through lunch, attacked by virus-carrying primates, and sacked for being pregnant – allegedly
Science17 Jun 2024 | 21
Italian premier taps Pope Francis to warn G7 of AI disaster if ethics ignored
Holy smokes, don't screw this up
Bootnotes12 Jun 2024 | 5
Musk wants to ban Apple at his companies for cosying up to OpenAI
Comment Concerned about secrecy... or just mad no one's buying his AI tech?
AI + ML11 Jun 2024 | 56
Tesla chair begs investors to bless Musk's billions or face an Elon exodus
He needs that compensation because he's easily dist- oo a piece of candy!
Personal Tech07 Jun 2024 | 107
From meatballs to metaverse – IKEA's flatpack fantasy lands on Roblox
Swedish furniture giant has 10 paid in-game jobs to fill
Bootnotes05 Jun 2024 | 9
Graveyards a favorite haunt for solar farms in Valencia
Because the dead don't really need all this space to themselves, surely?
Offbeat04 Jun 2024 | 11
Research finds electric cars are silent but violent for pedestrians
You're thrice as likely to be hit by a battery-powered vehicle
Offbeat22 May 2024 | 231
Really? A sarcasm detector? Wow. You shouldn't have
Computers learning to spot sass – what could go wrong?
Bootnotes20 May 2024 | 41
Dublin debauchery derails Portal to NYC in six days flat
Webcam art installation quickly descends into public Chatroulette
Bootnotes15 May 2024 | 62
Cops developing Ghostbusters-esque weapon to take out e-bike thugs
'Who you gonna call?' Dunno, my phone's been stolen
Bootnotes14 May 2024 | 67
Tesla devotee tests Cybertruck safety with his own finger – and fails
Faith in frunk flunks
Bootnotes08 May 2024 | 136
Razer made to pay $1.2M over 'N95' face mask that wasn't
Customers to get their light-up cyberpunk respirators refunded
Offbeat30 Apr 2024 | 22
Cloudflare CEO sues over free-roaming fidos at his ski resort paradise
Who let the dogs out?
Bootnotes29 Apr 2024 | 32
Throwflame launches fire-spitting robo-dog from Hell
The Thermonator can be yours for just $9,420
Bootnotes25 Apr 2024 | 54
Silicon Valley roundabout has drivers in a spin
Accidents at intersection quadruple
Bootnotes23 Apr 2024 | 88
Gone in 35 seconds – the Cybertruck's misbehaving acceleration pedal
Riveting conclusion to Tesla recall saga
Personal Tech22 Apr 2024 | 73
Tesla Cybertruck turns into world's most expensive brick after car wash
Bulletproof? Is it waterproof? Ts&Cs say: 'Failure to put Cybertruck in Car Wash Mode may result in damage'
Personal Tech20 Apr 2024 | 168
Crypto conferences liquidated after biblical flooding in Dubai
There's something nice about seeing Web3 fanatics in ankle-deep water
Bootnotes17 Apr 2024 | 17
Judge refuses to Ctrl-Z divorce order made by a misclick
Computer says you're single
Bootnotes16 Apr 2024 | 57
Musk burns bridges in Brazil after calling for senior judge to be impeached
Tycoon threatens to ignore court order banning far-right accounts on X
Legal08 Apr 2024 | 86
Meta, Microsoft, X, Match pledge selves to Epic battle against Apple App Store
You have my sword ... and my bow ... and my axe!
Applications21 Mar 2024 | 14
Britain enters period of mourning as Greggs unable to process payments
First they came for McDonald's and I did not speak out because I have even worse taste in food
Off-Prem20 Mar 2024 | 251
When life gives you Lemon, sack him
Comment CNN veteran publishes Musk interview that got his X show canceled
Offbeat19 Mar 2024 | 117
McDonald's ordering system suffers McFlurry of tech troubles
Global meltdown turns fast food slow
Off-Prem15 Mar 2024 | 109
Rancher faces prison for trying to breed absolute unit of a sheep
Ewe-nique endeavor aimed to create Jurassic Baaa-rk experience for hunters
Bootnotes14 Mar 2024 | 111
YouTube workers laid off mid-plea at city hall meeting
Caught on camera: 'Our jobs are ended today, effective immediately'
Offbeat05 Mar 2024 | 46
Legal eagles demand $6B in Tesla stock after overturning Musk's mega pay package
'Criminal,' says CEO
Offbeat04 Mar 2024 | 58
It's that most wonderful time of the year when tech cannot handle the date
Fuel pumps refuse payment, smartwatches stop – all part of the rich tapestry of computer calendars
Software29 Feb 2024 | 245
Willy Wonka event leaves bitter taste with artificially sweetened promises
Charlie and the AI factory flop compared to 'meth lab'
Bootnotes28 Feb 2024 | 45
Apple Vision Pro rentals take China by storm ahead of official release
Factoring in the deposit, you'd be better off running away with it
Personal Tech27 Feb 2024 | 6
Google Maps leads German tourists to week-long survival saga in Australian swamp
Pair had to dodge croc on trek back to civilization
Bootnotes23 Feb 2024 | 77
Google co-founder Brin named a defendant in wrongful death complaint
Lawsuit accuses contractor and co-defendants of 'pacify and delay' tactics
Legal23 Feb 2024 | 31
Rice isn't nice for drying your iPhone, according to Apple
Old wives revise their official advice
Personal Tech21 Feb 2024 | 73
Tesla's Cybertruck may not be so stainless after all
'Literally bulletproof' but needs constant cleaning to stave off corrosion
Bootnotes13 Feb 2024 | 212
Elon Musk can't wriggle out of SEC Twitter fraud inquiry
Lawyers argue requests for more info are tantamount to harassment
Offbeat12 Feb 2024 | 46
Add bacteria to the list of things that can run Doom
Frame rate would be even worse than the original, though. MUCH worse
Bootnotes31 Jan 2024 | 28
Robots with a 'Berliner Schnauze' may appear more trustworthy to locals
Dialect study a mixed bag when it comes to droids speaking highbrow German
Bootnotes31 Jan 2024 | 22
X hiring 100 content cops in bid to tame Wild West of online safety
Maybe those Twitter cuts ran too deep, huh?
Personal Tech29 Jan 2024 | 27
We put salt in our tea so you don't have to
Poll Despite US chemistry boffin claiming it improves the taste, we respectfully disagree
Bootnotes27 Jan 2024 | 204
AI-driven booze bouncers can ID you with face scan
Cheerio to cheeky Chardonnay chancers
Bootnotes25 Jan 2024 | 27
'Birthplace of Amazon' on the market for $2.28M
'Affordable' for the neighborhood
Bootnotes24 Jan 2024 | 21
DPD chatbot blasts courier company, swears, and dabbles in awful poetry
So this is the AI revolution
Bootnotes23 Jan 2024 | 48
Tech billionaires ask Californians to give new utopian city their blessing
They paved paradise, put up grocery stores, bars, restaurants, hotels, hospitals ...
Offbeat18 Jan 2024 | 46
Tesla owners in deep freeze discover the cold, hard truth about EVs
Not all batteries like subzero temperatures
Offbeat16 Jan 2024 | 383
Silicon Valley weirdo's quest to dodge death – yours for $333 a month
Wonder when he's going to give that 28-year-old their skin back
Bootnotes11 Jan 2024 | 87
The Register's 2023 in gaming had one final boss: Baldur's Gate 3
The RPG But we also have a bit to say about Dark Souls, Starfield, Foxhole, and more
Bootnotes05 Jan 2024 | 30
Zuckerberg hunkers down in Hawaii to wait out apocalypse
$270M secret building project includes 5,000 sq ft bunker
Bootnotes18 Dec 2023 | 82
HP TV ads claim its printers are 'made to be less hated'
Apparently they're being serious
Bootnotes07 Dec 2023 | 94
YouTuber who crashed plane for sponsorship dollars earns 6 months behind bars
There's an idiotic stunt, then there's obstructing a federal investigation
Bootnotes05 Dec 2023 | 34
Tech renders iconic rockers Kiss genuinely immortal
Final farewell show unveils the band's digital form
Offbeat04 Dec 2023 | 49
Musk tells advertisers to 'go f**k' themselves as $44B X gamble spirals into chaos
Comment Hello, police? I'd like to report a murder
Personal Tech30 Nov 2023 | 335
AI threatens to automate away the clergy
Is divine intervention next on the tech to-do list?
Bootnotes29 Nov 2023 | 77
Teens take a million metaverse Ryanair flights in Roblox
They do this in their free time
Bootnotes24 Oct 2023 | 41
More X subscription tiers could spell doom for free access as biz bleeds cash
One's cheaper but with ads, the other's more expensive with no ads, says Musk
Offbeat20 Oct 2023 | 85
Biting the hand that feeds IT
